were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
