guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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