Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize