he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
