Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
