we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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