She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Come on in and take your pants off
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