and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
