i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
