Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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