Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize