when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
