ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
it's like iHOP with fire
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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