Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
