I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize