I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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