my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
