How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
