Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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