I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
