i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
