just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
