So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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