He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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