How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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