You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize