Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
