I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
