my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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