Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
