it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
PS: I just woke up from my shower
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
