after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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