his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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