I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I can't put those talents on a resume
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
