dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
