he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He did a backflip because drugs
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
