Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
