I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
