We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
