I cut my penus on the lid.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
