I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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