I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
