Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
