It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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