if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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