Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
