Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
