I puked a lego.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
