Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize