So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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