my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
