dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
