Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
