Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
