I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So squirting runs in the family.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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