I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
