It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm always down for nudity.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
