i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
