There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
