are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
