If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
