why didn't you poke me back
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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