whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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