So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
